It is so hard to tell anyone, you never want them to feel the pain you do, don't want to bring them down or make them worried so you keep brushing it under the rug looking forward to the moments you can be alone in your room just to listen to sad music and let the tears stream. You recover and relapse in cycles. You do not 'have it", you suffer from it and will for the rest of your life. It can be put away in a box but will randomly catch your eye and as you open it back up to see what's inside the blackness envelops before you have a chance to escape. You plaster a smile on your face and only letting the mask slide when you think they aren't